|
Shabbat Candles |
I don't use matches. Only you can prevent forest fires. |
| |
Mishpacha (Family) |
Not married - Single., No children |
| |
Tohorot Mishpacha (Family Purity) |
I'm mostly following the rules. This ranges to Traditional Orthodox. |
| |
N'giah (Laws regarding touching a member of the opposite sex ) |
I try to observe it as much as possible, but I'm in the same cell as the arsonist. (see the Shabbat candles category). |
| |
Moshiach |
He's already come. Haven't you heard the Good Word? |
| |
Kashrut |
I only eat at McDonald's. Also: What's kashrut? |
| |
Ivrit (Hebrew) |
I even took it in college. |
| |
Talmud |
Is that like Torah? |
| |
Tribe |
Israel. |
| |
Attendance at Shul |
Only for other people's weddings and bar/bat mitzvahs. |
| |
What type of shul do I go to? |
Conservative (whatever that means) |
| |
Tefillin (Phylacteries) |
I don't wear animal products, dude. |
| |
Pesach (Passover) |
Happy Easter! |
| |
Festival Observance |
Christmas Tree and Easter Eggs |
| |
Davening (praying) ability |
I know when to stand, sit and bow. |
| |
Tzedakah (Charity) |
Give till it hurts. A mensch. :) |
| |
Egalitarianism Factor |
Women (who REALLY have taken on the obligations of tefila Tallit and Tefillin) can read Torah and count in minyans. |
| |
Lashon Hora (Evil speech) |
If you don't have something nice to say, than don't say it. |
| |
Modest Attaire/Tzinout |
Hat (usually black) and dark suit. |
| |